The Truth { "Fitspo" , My eating backgroud, and recent decisions}

Hi Everyone!

So this post is going to be a little different. I want to show people how the pictures people involved in fitness look the way they do ON PURPOSE. Also, some background into my struggles with eating habits  and the decisions I've made to make sure I stay on track:)

Okay so "fitspo"... I HATE this word. I get it, its for inspiration to be fit, but its turned into something that really isn't inspiring. This is the case because, even if someone doesn't call themselves a "fitspo" other people do, and it becomes this weird situation where people believe that this look this particular person has is the ideal, that its what everyone should strive for... It needs to stop. People should be striving to become the best versions on THEMSELVES, not look like someone else.

Of course you have you people that do believe they are this "fitspo" title, which is fine, it awesome to have confidence in yourself.. but it is so important to stress that it isnt some kind of "perfection" everyone needs to try to achieve, or feel bad about not looking just like that. Every single persons' body is different. I'm not ever gonna look like Iza Goulart or Kayla itsines, who I believe both have beautiful bodies, but what I can look like it the best version of myself. This is what people need to remember when they think things like "my abs don't look like that" or "my quads dont look like that" because they never will. You are not that person. YOU ARE YOU. Love the body you have, its the only one you get.. And if you love it it will love you back.

Fitness accounts post pictures that show the best angle of themselves. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. How many selfies does someone take before they fine one they like? Most people are not going to post pictures of themselves they do not like. But I want to show you guys that the pictures you see are not how I, or anyone else, just walks around.

The left picture is me, post workout, pre meal. I'm more defined because I just worked out and my stomach wasn't full of food and water yet... It the ideal time to see the most muscle definition. AKA "morning abs".. this is what people often see on any fitness account... THE RIGHT.. is me, full of water.. and food.. and protein bars... and snicker doodles ;) Regardless of the cookies, this is honestly how I look 99% of the time. I'm not flexing or anything its just relaxed. which is how someones body is most of the day. It is normal to not be defined every moment of every day.. id be worried if i was.. But thats what I want people to realize. If the constant flexed, defined look is what you are looking for, its not realistic. It healthy to have a 5 month old food baby at the end of the day (or noon usually)! BTW.. neither of these are filtered.. my iPhones' lighting is being really wonky lately and idk why!

With all that being said, there was a time where I didn't love my body.. sometimes I still struggles with it, lets be honest. so i developed bad habits that I denied. It also just so happens, its usually around this time of year when it gets the worst. this time for the last 2-3 years I was being extremely unhealthy to my body. I wasn't eating, I wasn't exercising, and I wasn't listening to the people around me that were concerned.

Above on the left is a picture of me from right after christmas last year... I remember taking it and thinking " oh my god my legs look huge".. I was clearly sick. A friend commented on this picture and said " you're so tiny", I was ecstatic, thats exactly what I wanted.. Another Friend texted me about an hour after I posted it and asked if I was okay, I remember being so confused.. Of course, Why wouldn't I be? She said I looked like I was loosing too much weight and it was starting to be unhealthy. I of course refused and told her it was just the angle, and I was eating like I always had. Thinking back now.. I really wasn't. I wouldn't eat all day until I was going out to dinner with someone else, because then I couldn't not eat or they would know. When I think about it part of me still thinks I really wasn't meaning to do it. It was a busy time of year and I always had plans so I would forget to eat.. But it obviously wasn't just that.

The same this happened in the right picture, which was 2 Christmases ago.. Its hard to see in this picture... but this is all I had for this time period. I was wearing a cotton dress that was supposed to be tight to your body, in an xs and it was baggy.. if that gives you any idea. Again, my family and friends were concerned, and I AGAIN waved it off and said they were ridiculous.. When I really realized what I was doing to my body was when I returned back to college after break and my friends stopped dead in their tracks when they saw me. I asked them what was wrong and they said I looked sick, the ribs in my chest were sticking out and visible, my legs were lost in my once tight leggings, and my face was sunken in. My period was gone for 3 months.. TMI? maybe but its the truth. 

Both times I finally opened my eyes and realized what I was doing, but it was still a cycle. Which brings us to this year. I'm healthier than I have ever been, I have confidence, I am actually physically strong, as well as mentally. So this year I'm making it my goal to GAIN rather than loose. And I am so happy with that. Im not just going full out gain train here. I'd like to maintain some leanness, for my mental sake.. but I want my legs to grow and my arms to grow and become stronger! I couldn't have gotten to where I am now without my loving and supportive family, friends, and boyfriend.. and of course all the wonderful, kind people I've met through social media [ it isn't alllll bad;)} I did want to mention two accounts on IG that really helped my with the mental aspect of seeing the scale go up and being okay with gaining. These two are Ilyssa (IG: @ohilyssa) and Em Hogan (IG: @miss_eatz_alot) These two girls are so down to earth and real about every aspect of recovering from a restrictive, unhealthy relationship with food, as well as loving your body through gaining and changing. If you dont follow them already, go check them out:)

Gosh this was long... Thanks for sticking around if you have! I just wanted to share this in hopes that if someone can relate it can help them find a healthy balance or just know they aren't alone:)

Love you all!

xoxo

Jenna

What I eat {while surviving the holidays}

Hi everyone!

I know I'm a day late! But like I've said before life happens but I will always get it done eventually! Promise:) 

Something I've learned since cleaning up my diet is that every day is not going to be a "prefect diet" day. But guys, IT SHOULDN'T BE! You need to have balance every single day. Now I'm not saying to binge on candy for 15 minutes every day and call that balance, but a twix a day isn't going to hurt you [thats my personal fav:)] it will actually help you. If you ever tired "clean eating" you know what I mean. You start an all clean food diet and on about day 5 all you can think about is ice cream or pie or cookies... so what do you do? Eat an excessive amount of whatever it is you are craving. 

This is why I started balanced-intake and intuitive eating. I eat the "not so clean" foods a crave every day.. but IN MODERATION, and I listen to my body. If it is 10 p.m. and I'm hungry I am going to eat. When that does happen I will eat something like a rice cake with pb, a little arctic zero, an apple, or puffins with almond milk. Those are my favorite late night snacks that dont leave me feeling heaving or bloating right before going to bed. 

SO. Over the holidays I enjoyed myself. I did not restrict what I ate but I made choices so that I wouldn't feel guilty, because lets be honest guys, no matter what the day of the year is, if you over indulge to the point where you feel bad physically, its going to make you feel bad mentally. I'm just being real. So on Thanksgiving, rather than eating 4 raviolis and 2 meat balls and just a little bit of turkey, I ate a large serving of turkey (IT IS GOOD FOR YOU) some mashed potatoes, green beans, TWO ravs, and one meatball. Its all about being balanced. Is that a healthy meal.. not really. But that is not what I was going for. I was aiming for something that would fuel my body and not leave me feeling uncomfortable and sick. I can honestly say there was not one time that day that I had that "too full" feeling.

I tried to merge the two topics I mentioned, so I am going to list a few things I ate for each meal along with snacks I have throughout the day {I eat every hour.. not kidding}.

Breakfast:

• Proats (protein oatmeal): 1/2 cup oats, 1/2 c almond milk, 1/4 c water. (microwave 2 minutes then 30 second intervals [about 4-5 times]so it doesn't boil over) Add 1/3 scoop protein and stir, microwave for another 30 seconds then top! I top mine with 1 tbsp cookie butter, Enjoylife mini chips and agave nectar.. DELISH
• Savory or sweet omelette: 5-6 tbsp liquid eggs white and either mrs. dash spicy seasoning and hot sauce OR cinnamon, vanilla extract, and 1/2 packet of stevia. Be creative with toppings:) I usually also have a piece of Ezekiel toast with that!
• Over night oats: 1/2 c oats, tbsp chia seeds, 1/2 c almond milk, 1 packet of stevia. I add a bunch of different things to it too so again.. be creative. And i usually make it in an empty pb jar. 

Lunch:

• Shredded chicken (or whatever meat you have) and fat free Pringles: Usually one small chicken breast, shredded, topped with mrs. dash extra spicy seasoning, and 15 Pringles ( the serving size lol
• Ezekiel toast with shredded chicken and hot sauce. ill usually add string cheese and fruit to that or a greek yogurt (my favorite brand is dannon light and fit 80 cal).
• Spaghetti squash with a wedge of laughing cow light swiss, cheddar popcorn seasoning, and garlic salt and pepper.

Dinner:

• Tilapia with tomato sauce and rice. Simple as that. Delicious.
• Grilled chicken, Sweet potato, and corn.
• Salmon and green beens.
• Roast beef with steamed potatoes and green beans.

I didn't elaborate on those very much because, welll, they are what they are hahah:)

I usually indulge a little for dessert. Something like an ice cream sandwich, banana ice creams, little debbies christmas tree cake (my weakness) or left overs right now!

Snacks:

• Fruit. AS MUCH AS I WANT. Yes it has sugar but it is natural sugar and you body can and will use it. Some people may disagree, which is fine, but that is what I eat. I love it.
• Pork Rinds. Low cal, high volume, low carb. I love them.
• Fiber one brownies and cookies. I eat packaged foods. Not a ton. but I do, and I believe it is perfectly fine.
• QUEST BARS. love. the end. (I can't wait to try the s'mores OMG)
• Low fat string cheese
• NUTS. Cashews, almonds, pistachios. In moderation tho, they are high in fat... healthy fat. But still. Too much of anything is not good.

So guys. There it is. This was long so if you stuck around, thanks for reading:) I hope this helped guys. I am not a nutritionist. I don't claim to be. I'm just sharing with you guys what I eat from day to day. I am okay with it if you disagree with something I say. Everyone has opinions. I would also LOVE to hear some of you guys' favorite foods for any meal!

LOVE YOU ALL!

About me

Hey guys! So this is my first time even doing a blog, so please excuse me if the layout and such comes out weird. But I figured my first blog post should tell a little about me.. 

Let's start with the basics.. My name is Jenna. I am 20 years old, and am starting my RN I

in January :)

I live in a small area about 40 minutes outside of Pittsburgh. I've lived here my entire life, but I've also moved about 12 times including to and from 2 colleges. It's a very small area and I'd bet if you asked anyone else how they feel it's this... A love hate relationship. I love where I'm from and my friends and family here, but at the same time it is not a super exciting place with a bunch of fun things to do lol. But living very close to the city is awesome, so we figure things out:)

I am pretty much an only child.. I have a half brother but unfortunately I don't get to see him often because he lives in Tennessee with his family (he is 33). My mother is amazing so thankfully I didn't end up with the stereotypical "only child syndrome" of being selfish and bratty.. Not saying all only children are, but if you are an only child I KNOW you've heard that assumption more than once haha! But hey, you can't judge a book by its cover right?

I'm not going to go into a bunch of minor details about my life. I am extremely blessed in every way. I love God and I know through Him and with Him all things are possible. Do I go through hard times and struggle, of course I do. But I have a wonderful support system through my family, friends and boyfriend that can get me through anything. I know one thing for sure though.. I would not be even close to the person I am today without my mother. She has taught me everything I know and made sure I became a loving, well-rounded person. I couldn't be more thankful for that. She is my rock and I don't know what I would do without her.  

Okay, so that is me. A little bit of inside to why I am the way I am and where I came from.. I don't want to make this too lengthy. But if you guys want I can do another post going into more detail about my fitness journey, since I've talking about it a little on IG.

Thanks for reading guys!

Love you all!

Jenna